Nurturing Your Child

By age two, your toddler is able to rely not only on you but on other trusted adults in her life. Sometimes, she may even seem to prefer someone other than you. Don’t be offended: that’s normal development. She is busy figuring out where she fits in this world and what relationships are all about. You remain her constant, trusted and well-loved parent.

Here are some things you can do:

• Comfort her. Toddlers’ feelings can be very intense—even when they are happy and excited. And losing control can be frightening to a toddler. Your toddler needs your loving reassurance both in touch and words so she knows she is still loved and lovable.
• Continue to observe and learn so that you can respond to her unique needs and strengths. For example, by observing what triggers frustration and “meltdowns” (e.g., lack of sleep, change in routine, eating candy) you can learn how to avoid or deal with those triggers. Knowing what she is currently interested in (sweeping with a toy broom, throwing a ball, reading stories about animals) allows you to focus on her interests. That tells her that you value her and what is important to her at that moment.
• Help her learn about feelings. Give names to feelings: “I know
  it makes you sad to have to stop playing but we have to go to
  the store right now.” Separate her feelings from her behavior.
  “I know you feel sad (feeling) but you must not throw (behavior)
  your toy at me.” Talk about the feelings of the characters in
  books and as you play together. (“Your doll looks sad.” “Mr. Moose
  is smiling.”) Look in a mirror together and take turns making
  faces (sad, happy, scared).
• Be a model. Behave the way you want her to behave. She
  listens to you and watches you carefully. She will copy what she
  sees and hears. So as you interact with her and other people
  remember, she is watching.

Useful Resources

additional resources My E-Journal